small dreams

I’ve always dreamt big.
Living in my own castle, people colonizing Mars, bathing in a bathtub filled with gold (both figuratively and literally), and much more.
The disease has changed me. I still dream big, but I’ve found the beauty of small dreams. Simple things, simple joys of life, whose value I had not seen, when they were possible and accessible.
Biggest of my small dreams are to be able to run again and to dance.

For the most of my life I have been overweight. I’ve always avoided exercise and sport. Even when walking through the city I was subconsciously I choosing a path, that sloped minimally.
Last summer I had sprained my right leg. Was unable to walk for a few days, had a lath for some time and been at home for a month, with only a few short walks to buy groceries and back home. I don’t remember ever running this autumn. In winter my balance was already shaggy and shortly after Christmas I’ve started to use a walking stick.
I’ve missed many trams and buses, just because running, even for a very sort distance, is just not physically possible for me. My knees are weak and my balance is limited.
Never in my life did I want to sprint so badly. To be fast. To feel the wind in my hair. To sweat from running.
I dream, that one day I will sprint

I’ve always loved music, but as I grew older I’ve been shutting the door to that world more and more. I was shy to sing and even more to dance. I wanted to dance, but never allowed myself to, out of fear of looking stupid and being out of rhythm.
Now I see and understand just how silly is to not fulfill your dreams out of fear of looking stupid. Because of completely absurd fear.
I have never learned to dance, but I am dead certain, that when day comes, when my legs are strong again and my sense of balance good enough, the first thing I am going to do is to start learning tango argentino. The pure passion on the dance floor.

I will run and I will sprint. I will dance. Tango. Salsa and bachata. Samba and rumba. Lambada. Walz. And charleston. And everything. I will dance till I drop.
And I’m not saying IF. Why? Here is the answer:

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